Embracing my Inner Warrior
There is something deep in my soul that understands what it means to be a warrior. I can hear the drums, I can feel my heart beating, the taste of blood in my mouth like metal. I can feel myself become completely present, the slow wind moving through me and onto the battlefield. Another time, another life.
The female warrior is a powerful archetype, and while I do not march out to battle anymore, my inner battle continues.
I have spent a lot of time recently thinking about light and darkness. Recently I have begun to learn how to take ownership of my darkness; to become responsible for my hate, anger, judgment, fear, selfishness, shame (you can read more about this in my blog Owning Our Back Body). And as I begin to come to terms with my darkness I have inherently begun to explore my light, which has been a battle of a different kind.
For much of my life I have been afraid to shine too brightly, speak my truth, or stand up for what I believe in. I have always been the good girl who played by all the rules. I know I am not alone. The fierce, courageous woman championing her light is not an image we associate with women today. And so I ask myself: How can I overcome my fear so I can take ownership of my light?
As I struggle with my own light and darkness, I also see the battle between light and darkness raging in our world. It rages in destructive ways that threaten our very existence. I see so many losing their freedom in this battle, whether by force or compromise. I have witnessed myself sacrifice my own freedom time and time again. I have given it away when I have feared that I will not belong, giving pieces of myself away to others to appease. I have compromised my light to maintain an illusion of safety.
When I take time to truly sit with my inner light, I feel myself connecting with something greater. I feel myself flowing and connecting with the divine, to everyone I have ever known and loved, and everyone I will never meet. I know that it is my responsibility to be fully responsible for myself and to others, and to uphold the truth of who I am so I may take my rightful place in the world.
And so I remember the female warriors throughout time who took responsibility, stepped into their power, and fought for their freedom: Boudica, Joan of Arc, and Takeko to name a few. The female warrior does not wage wars to satisfy her darkness. She does not wage wars for her own benefit. She does not wage wars to compromise. She wages war for a purpose: justice, freedom, and the protection of her children.
Marianna Williamson says, “Nobody says about the mama bear when she becomes absolutely fierce, or the lion or the tiger when she becomes absolutely fierce because something threatens her cubs, no one calls her strident and no one says she has anger issues.”
It’s time for us as women to find the courage to change, to become the bright, fierce women we were always meant to be. The change starts with us.
Photo Credit: Luis Barta