It was as if I was constantly in a war with my emotions and sadly I wasn’t winning. I was always anxious, depressed, and worried. I normalized being ill and accepted never feeling my best. I allowed myself to live with constant panic attacks and random bursts of tears, unable to manage my emotions.

Being a college student, I feel a lot of expectations weighing down on me so it’s easy to stay busy and driven. This summer, I was accepted to a summer internship in New York City with a huge corporate company. Sadly, I wasn’t that excited about the opportunity except for the fact that it would be a great resume builder. Just before the summer my college held a career fair, and even though I already had a job lined up, I felt compelled to go and check it out. As I walked through the various booths at the career fair, I came across The Woman’s Network. There was something different about how TWN made me feel, as if something clicked into place inside of me and suddenly it all made sense.

When TWN asked me to join their team for the summer, I knew I had a difficult choice to make. I felt all of the expectations and guilt pushing me towards the internship in New York. Usually this is what drives me but I decided to listen to my heart and I chose to work with The Woman’s Network. It turned out to be one of the best decisions I’ve ever made, because it was a decision that was based on my own needs and what was going to make me feel good.

Rather than focusing on the present, I was more concerned with my to-do lists and daily tasks. I constantly found myself thinking about the next project or the next person I needed to see, rather than truly enjoying what I was doing. I became more invested in my schedule, than my life. Through interning with TWN, I’ve learned that it’s okay to break down once in awhile, it’s okay to take a sick day, and most importantly it’s okay to take care of ourselves. As women we’ve been conditioned to suppress our needs and wants, spiraling downward as we continue to help everyone but ourselves. Just by noticing our breath, we can begin to take a step forward in the practice of mindfulness and being more in control of our emotions.

If you’re like me, maybe you’re a little cynical that noticing your breath can alter your life for the better (trust me, I was in the same boat at first.) Maybe you’re even thinking to yourself right now: “I hate yoga, and I can’t sit still for more than 5 minutes, how am I ever going to be mindful?” I used to be under the impression to be “mindful”, you had to be a certain stereotype. I realize now that I created a stigma around mindfulness because I was afraid to confront myself. But I’ve come to realize that in order to change for the better, we have to confront ourselves.

As the summer is coming to an end, I’ve come to understand why I chose this internship. Something in me was fighting against my normal autopilot way of being because I really wanted to change. And to do this, I needed to give myself permission to pause and break free from all the expectations and restrictions I created for myself.

I would like to invite those of you who read this article to go into the app store and download AIRIN. AIRIN is a new mindfulness app created by The Woman’s Network to remind you periodically throughout the day to pause and notice your breath. In these few seconds you allow yourself to pause and be in the moment. For those of you who are thinking you have no time and don’t have a moment to download it, then this app is definitely for you. Just think about how taking three mindful breaths can change your life for the better. Please join me on the journey of more mindful living.

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